


The Shopping Trip

by Gwynne



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 00:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30097599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwynne/pseuds/Gwynne
Summary: This just happened after a comment on the Bujold list.Please note: This is silly and derivative. I am not a poet. It's just for fun.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	The Shopping Trip

The Shopping Trip

There was movement at the bunker, for the word had passed around  
That the Admiral’s Betan wife had got away,  
And had gone to get her son back - he was replicator-bound,  
So trusted friends had gathered to the fray.  
The empress’s female bodyguard had gone along to help  
ImpSec trained but just a woman after all,  
But she did know all the Residence, the secret ins and outs  
And she could fight as well – so strong and tall.

The old Count’s crazy armsman, a good man with a knife,  
He’d been with the Admiral out in space,  
But few would stand beside him when his blood was fairly up —  
He would kill with no expression on his face.  
And the Admiral’s assistant had been kidnapped by the group,  
A good man, but old injuries gave pain,  
He had to use a walking stick and limped around the place,  
But for them, he’d be a warrior again.

Off they went; they found Vorpatrils who’d been trapped behind the lines,  
Too late for Padma but they saved his wife,  
And she was well in labour, and the birth was soon to come,  
If they could hide and save the baby’s life.  
They delivered baby Ivan, big and strong, a healthy boy.  
They sent Alys and Ivan home with Kou,  
The other three would still go on, another child to save,  
If they were just in time and not too few.

But Drou she knew a tunnel, good old Negri and his plots,  
They got through safe inside to search the place,  
Then everything went wrong, and poor Kareen she took a blast  
A bitter loss, the stray shot hit her face.  
The Pretender had the replicator stashed back in his room  
And he tried to talk his way out of the mess,  
But Cordelia wasn’t in the mood to listen to his lies,  
A sword sweep and Vordarian was less.

Then packing head and replicator, heading back to base  
The victory was bitter but complete  
And the head rolled down the table, a successful shopping trip  
The war was done. Pretender met defeat.  
So Betan justice startled them, “You can’t do-“ Yes, she could.  
She stopped the war and saved her precious child.  
On Barrayar the Red Queen’s tale will never be forgot,  
And the shopping trip – the head – the story’s wild.

**Author's Note:**

> It's based on The Man From Snowy River  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlKptiofy9w  
> ....only with a severed head.


End file.
